339 Holly Worton ~ How to Get Through the Week When Everything Feels Like Chaos

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Holly:  Hello and welcome to the Into the Woods podcast, episode 339. This is your host Holly Worton and I am back with another solo episode. Today, as is often the case, I am going to be talking about something personal that I am going through. And, you know, I always kind of debate about sharing these things with you and then I hear back from other people saying that they are going through the exact same thing. And I had a kind of coaching check-in with my coach Lisa Wechtenhiser last week, she basically gave me the feedback that I need to keep doing this, sharing my stuff, because other people resonate with it, so here I am.

So, today, I am here to talk about chaos and feeling frazzled and being on the edge of burnout, not burnout, but meltdown — I feel like I have been on the edge of meltdown all week. So I am going to talk a little bit about that, and then more than that, I am going to talk about how to bring yourself back to centre and how to deal with it when life just keeps throwing you stuff and it is really, really, stressful.

I can’t remember the last time I had a week like this. It is Friday as I am recoding this, this is going to go out on Monday. Usually I try to do the recording for my podcast episodes on Monday to go out the following Monday and this week I just keep pushing it and pushing it in my calendar and dragging and dropping everything, because I just haven’t felt in the right place. So this week didn’t start out, looking at my calendar it didn’t look like it was going to be an unusual week. Next week, I can already tell you, is going to be a super-busy week, I am going to be out of the office three times which is kind of wild for me. So I am really concerned about next week as well. {laughing}

So, anyway, this week started out fine, everything was organised and set up in my calendar and it looked like it was going to be normal, it looked like it was going to be just a regular week in the office. And, the only thing out of the ordinary, was that I had calls every morning this week with my new web designer who is doing a complete overhaul of my website. I am super-excited about that and that has been going really, really, well; it has been a really beautiful process, I love the person I am working with as a friend; she is doing an amazing job. It is really a co-creation, because like I said we have been meeting every morning, talking about this, she shows me what she has done, we talk about stuff that needs to be done – it has been great. So that was the only thing that has been out-of-the-ordinary in my calendar and it has turned out to be, kind of the highlight of my week, it has been absolutely fantastic!

Client stuff started to get in the way, I have one client that was just really hands-on this week, requiring lots of phone-calls; lots of last-minute stuff; and that made it really stressful for me and then I had another client that was also needing some last minute stuff done, but that went really well and was really easy and that wasn’t very stressful to deal with, so that was fine. Lots of kind of unexpected stuff. I had a meet-up group to go to on Tuesday, that was really enjoyable, I wasn’t looking forward to going into London because the weather was terrible, but that was fine. It was like something was making everything really difficult. I had all these little things that were unexpected, and not easy to deal with, but it really shouldn’t have been that overwhelming. So I not sure what was going on to kind of make this so difficult, but I felt like kind of inside I was always on the edge of meltdown, really and I kind of felt like I was barely hanging in there this week.

I kind of had to drag and drop so many things from the work week, and I have taken some breaks, I took a bath on Wednesday because I just couldn’t handle it {laughing} …it was either that or I was going to meltdown. So I had to postpone certain things like this podcast which I have really postponed until the last possible day to give my editor enough time to get it done before Monday. So that means that I am going to have to work tomorrow, Saturday, because I just did not have time to get everything done and this really is stuff that I don’t want to push it into the following week, because, as I said, I am going to be out-of-the office three days next week and I can’t push anything from this week into next week, it would have to go into the following week and I don’t want to do that. So hopefully tomorrow I will get some extra work done and then Sunday I really hope to go on a long walk in the woods, alone, I was thinking about other people, but I think what I really need is just alone time in nature.

So that’s my story for this week, so if you are feeling that way or if you have ever felt that way, or you are feeling that you might feel that way looking at your schedule in your calendar and things that are coming up, let’s talk about this, let’s talk about things you can do to bring yourself back to centre, to a place of calm, where you can get through the stuff you need to get through.

So, meditation, is the first thing that comes to mind, I have been thinking about meditation a lot his week and I have been thinking: oh that would be a good thing to do… but it just felt stressful to do, it felt like it would be good and it would make me feel better, but that is just one more thing to add to my to-do list, it is one more thing to add to my Google calendar, that is already packed and double-booked in some places because I have had to drag and drop things as the week is going. So I haven’t meditated, again, I am sure that would make me feel better, but if felt like one more stressful thing to do. So, meditation if it feels right for you and if it doesn’t feel too stressful then do something like that and that goes for everything else that I mention.

I know sometimes when we have got a really, really, stressful week or couple of weeks, or longer, it can feel like adding one of these self-care things, is just another thing to tick off your list and it can make things feel even more stressful. So if that is the case, keep it simple, keep it easy, do what you need to do to get through this. So meditation can be good. Like I said on Wednesday, before my call with Lisa, I took a bath. I don’t think it was more than a half-an-hour, but it completely changed my mood, it just reduced the stress, it was an Epsom salt bath, you know Epsom salts are supposed to be good for detox and mineralisation and all that kind of good stuff, but it really, really, made a difference. It got to the point where I was like really tense and I just had to otherwise I knew I wasn’t going to get anything on the call with Lisa and I wasn’t going to get anything done. I ended up coming off that call with Lisa, having just half-an-hour of time to think about the stuff we had talked about and then I did another hour of work in the evening. Later than I usually work but I felt fine because I had that little break earlier.

So my suggestion to you would be, I know not everyone works from home, not everyone has the luxury of doing this, but give yourself permission to do what you need to do to take a break during the day and maybe in exchange keep going a little bit later in the afternoon or evening. Sometimes if you can give yourself permission to have that break it really makes it easier to do the things you need to do after. So again, if you don’t work from home maybe that is taking a walk away from your desk, hiding in the bathroom for a while, taking a walk around the block, whatever you can do to have a break so that you can keep going later. This may or may not work for you, because sometimes it is hard for me to negotiate that in my mind with myself: oh, if I take a break now I can just postpone the work I would do now and get it done later. And sometimes that is really stressful, and sometimes that feels like…I just want to tick the things off my list, I don’t want to keep pushing them further down in the day. But, really, that can sometimes make a big, big, difference so if you can give yourself permission, or get permission from other people, if you need to, to take a break and keep going later, that will make a big difference, or it might make a big difference but it is worth trying, it is something that has really, really, helped me in the past. So that is really useful.

 So, earlier today, I was just again, feeling really, really, stressed and feeling like I was on the edge of meltdown and I just asked friends about it, or I shared it with people, and this is something that I really hesitate to do, I always hesitate to put, whether it is in the master-gut Facebook group which is my support of supportive people, or in a WhatsApp group that I belong to. I really hesitate sharing my shit with people because I feel like I don’t want to dump my crap on others and I framed my post in that message saying: I really don’t feel comfortable sharing these things, but I shared it with the women that I was on my plant-healing-apprenticeship with and immediately got responses from a couple of people in the group and it was really, really, helpful. Just feeling support from them, and feeling that: okay they heard me, they understand, they gave me some reasons why I might be feeling that way, because perhaps I am still processing some of the healing stuff I have done on the apprenticeship and other healing stuff I have been doing the last couple of weeks, that is absolutely a possibility.

But also they gave me practical ideas, they mentioned Epsom Salt baths, which I will definitely be doing again today, but they also mentioned: have you smudged yourself lately? This is something that I often forget to do, I do not smudge myself enough! You may be into this, you may not be into this, but you can take sage or mugwort, which is actually what I used, and burn it and with a feather fan just cleanse yourself with the smoke from the smoke from the sage or the mugwort or whatever plant you choose to use with the intention of cleansing yourself of anything that you might need to get rid of. It is very easy, google it if you don’t know what I am talking about. I forget to do this, I would really like to do this on a regular basis, and I would really like to remember to do this when I am not feeling well but anyway, I pulled out my smudge kit pulled out my mugwort, smudged myself went downstairs and smudged my husband, and really felt better within about ten minutes. That might have been just because I took a break, that might have been because I did something different, it might have been because I distracted myself from the things that were causing me stress, and it might have been because smudging is very helpful in getting rid of crap. I really like it and would like to do it more often, so smudge yourself, it can really help!

So connecting with this group of women really made me feel better, because they gave me practical things that I could do but it was also the feeling of: okay they have heard me, they are being supportive, and they understand. So sharing what you are experiencing with other people can be really useful. Just talking about what you are experiencing can help and it can give you practical tips on stuff that you can do.

There are so many things that you can do to calm yourself, bring you back to centre, it is like stopping and taking a few deep breaths and I am sure you know this, but when you have an entire week, or longer, where you just keep feeling stressed again, and again, and again. And it is like you pull yourself back and then it happens again, and you pull yourself and it happens again… it is really useful to have a list of things that will help you to bring yourself back to centre and help yourself feel better.

Another thing that I have done this week which has been incredibly useful in surviving up until now is getting some extra sleep. So I have allowed myself to sleep in every day this week, except for Thursday, when I had my early kickboxing class. So sleep, I find, and I know not everyone can do this, and you certainly can’t do this if you have a job, but if you can do this and you are self-employed, or if you work from home and people aren’t paying attention to when you log on in the day, give yourself permission to either sleep in late in the morning or go to bed early. And maybe you go to bed early and you can’t go to sleep, but maybe you read a book and that would be relaxing, or just lie there in the darkness and look at it as relaxing time. I really think that sometimes it is really stressful when you go to bed and you are so stressed that you can’t sleep, but sometimes I find it useful to look at it as: lights are out, I am lying here, and it is my relaxing time; I will fall asleep when my body is ready to fall asleep, right now I am just going to relax.

However, this week, I have been so exhausted, I think, that I have been falling asleep really, really, quickly which has been fantastic. I haven’t gone to bed earlier but sleeping in the morning a little bit has helped me keep going this week I think. I haven’t been in the best place, but I also haven’t had a meltdown and I haven’t burnt out, yet, and I am hanging in there. So I think it is the culmination of these little things that I have been doing that have helped me to get to the end of the week and record this for you.

So as I am talking about these things you are going to know what is going to work for you, and you are going to know what you can fit into your schedule and you are going to know what is going to help you particularly. You might want to, if you use a diffuser, diffuse some essential oils, lavender can be really relaxing. I don’t use a diffuser because I have cats and a lot of essential oils are really toxic to cats, but you could get a lavender perfume, or oils, either put it on your skin, I know that not all oils are good for skin because it can be irritating. But you could get a tissue and put the oils on a tissue and have it somewhere you can smell. Or get some room spray that is lavender or other plants, but lavender is really, really, nice and relaxing and good for when you are feeling, really, really stressed.  So think about how you can help yourself relax using all your senses.

Food, what foods do you find really nourishing? I am still in the middle of my alternate fasting protocol so I eating every other day but when I have been eating I have been eating the foods that I know my body likes, I haven’t been filling up with carbs, which is what my body often craves when I am not feeling well but I know those foods don’t make my body feel great. So I have been eating high fat, high protein, I have been eating vegetables, but I have been focussing on the foods that I know will fuel my body and also feel really, really satisfying, rather than reaching for pasta, or something that be tempting when I am not feeling well. Anyway, foods, pay attention to the foods you are eating.

Pay attention to water, I am really good at hydrating, because I do fasting a lot, so I am good at staying hydrated with water and herbal teas, so I am good about keeping hydrated, but a lot of people aren’t. So make sure if you are working you have always got, I always have a pint of water, sparkling water I prefer, a pint of water on my desk, and a cup of something hot, usually herbal tea. Right now I am drinking, Four Sigmatic, it is a mushroom coffee, I will link to this in the show notes, it is really really good. It is worth having around hot things to drink — if you don’t like hot beverages obviously ignore this, but I always like to have two different kinds of liquids on my desk at any given time. As soon as I finish my cup of tea I get up from my desk, go downstairs, and make a new one. About every hour or so I am kind of going through another process of resupplying myself with liquids, but stay hydrated that can really help because it can help your body stay hydrated which is what it needs to be, so it can help you get through the day and get through the week, so pay attention to food and liquids.

And finally, just constantly reevaluate your priorities throughout the week. As you know, because I talk about this all the time, I like to use Google calendar to plan my days and weeks. So everyday, and multiple times a day, I always have Google calendar open on a tab on my browser, always, because I am constantly adjusting it. Certain things take longer or shorter than other things and so I am constantly adjusting that in my calendar and then dragging and dropping the other things to fit in. So, one thing I have been doing this week is: adjusting my calendar, dragging and dropping the other stuff, and using that to re-prioritise the stuff. So all of the stuff that I have bumped to tomorrow are things that didn’t need to get done Monday-Friday, it is okay for me to do them on Saturday. I could push them to next week but like I say I know I don’t have time and I certainly don’t want to push them two weeks from now.

So, look at your priorities, look at what you can postpone, look at what you could get done in the evening after a little rest or get done in the morning after you go to bed early, whatever. Find what works for you, but use your calendar, whatever system you use to constantly reevaluate your priorities. And make sure that your working with your highest priorities, so don’t just plough on through your inbox because it helps you to feel like you are getting stuff done, is that stuff the most important stuff for you to be working on now? If not, if you have another little project or task, or something that you need to be working on then focus on that, focus on constantly getting the most important, the highest priority things, done because the lower priority things you can bump until tomorrow and then repeat. Every day, every hour of every day I have been checking into my calendar and reorganising things. And again, there were points in the week when I had two time-blocks on top of each, I had bumped them from today, they were going to tomorrow, but I didn’t know which one was going to be highest priority until I got to that day. So my calendar was really messy, right now, we are at the end of the week I can see that it is all coming together because I have given myself an extra day, tomorrow, to work and I don’t usually like working on weekends but because I am going to be out-of-the office so often next week it is quite reasonable for me to make an exception to the rule and get some work done tomorrow. And the weather is supposed this weekend so I might go on my walk on Sunday or I might do it the other way around, right now I would really like to get the work done tomorrow so I can walk on Sunday, but again I am being flexible. I think another sign of what’s help me get through this week and what has helped me get through this stuff in general, is being flexible, being willing to drag and drop stuff in my calendar and being flexible in terms of being willing to get stuff done on Saturday so that it doesn’t make stuff even worse. So being flexible, that is my final suggestion for you.

As I am looking at my calendar as I talk to you now, I am feeling pretty good about how this week is wrapping up and doing this podcast and telling you my story has really made me feel better as well. Talking about my chaotic week and talking about my own personal stress has helped me to bring myself back to centre and I hope that it has helped you. So if you are having a stressful week, I am really, really, sorry, try some of these techniques and tactics and see how they work for you. Also check out some of my other episodes where I have talked about burnout, episodes 324 was How To Keep Overwhelm From Becoming Burnout, that episode wasn’t that long ago, so clearly I keep getting myself into this situation. Episode 226 was another solo episode where I talked about What To Do When Fear of Overwhelm Is Keeping You Stuck In Business, and then episode 133, going way back to the Ready2Bloom days, I did an episode with Lynn Hord on How To Dissolve Overwhelm and Put the Joy Back Into your Business.

I probably could talk about this more, but I think it was important for me to talk to you about this as I am going through it, to share my story, because I know other people experience this because honestly it has been really good for me as well which is something that I wasn’t expecting. I just wanted to tell my story and get the episode out there and get it to my editor so that he could work on it fo rMonday before it was too late and it has really helped me so talk to people, tell your friends, if you have a support group, if you have people who can listen, just talking to someone can really help I highly recommend it. So that is all for now, I hope you find this interesting and useful please drop me a line and let me know what you thought about this episode, you can email me at: [email protected] or find me online and get in touch there. Thank you for listening and remember to visit http://HollyWorton.com/339 for the show notes on this episode. Thank you, thank you, thank you for listening.