241: Holly Worton ~ What to Do When You’re Sick of Social Media

by | Mar 5, 2018 | Business, Podcast Episode

Today’s Guest

I’m back again, with another solo episode! This week I’m talking about what to do when you’re sick of social media. This is something that I’m experiencing yet again! And I know from the comments I’ve received from my 2015 blog post on the topic that lots of other people go through this at one point or another. This episode will help you to get clarity on what’s really going on behind your aversion to social media (or networking, or speaking, or whatever) so you can either do things differently or do something else instead. This episode will be equally useful to you if it’s not social media that’s your problem, but networking or something else you’ve been hating in your business.

 

Listen to this episode

  

What You’ll Learn

  • What to do when you’re sick of using social media
  • What to do instead to market your business
  • Questions to ask yourself to help you to get clarity on exactly what’s going on
  • How to reduce the noise of social media + notifications
  • Things you might need to give yourself permission to do
  • How to get help with social media (and I don’t mean hiring a social media manager)

Questions to Ask

  • How do you actually feel about social media?
  • What do you want to get out of using social media? Is it working? Are you getting results?
  • What’s actually going on? Are you trying to do too much? Are you trying to be everywhere?
  • Do you dislike posting your stuff on social media, or do you dislike reading other people’s stuff?
  • Are you still playing the comparison game?
  • Are you experiencing burnout or overwhelm?
  • Are you naturally more of an offline marketer or networker? Is the social media just not your thing?
  • Is it the wrong time of the month? (yes, seriously…but not in the way you’re thinking)
  • Is your business in transition? Is your life in transition? Are you simply on an inner journey or are you at a crossroads on your path?
  • Is your mindset getting in the way?

Things I Discussed

Connect With Holly

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Transcript

The transcript for this episode can also be downloaded here (no opt-in required).

Holly: Hello and welcome to the Business Mindset Podcast, episode 241; this is your host Holly Worton and I am back with another solo episode. Today, I am going to talk about: what to do when you are sick of social media. Maybe you are feeling allergic to social media, maybe you just can’t stand it anymore; maybe you dread opening Facebook and reading your feed and marketing your business there. Or, maybe it is not a problem at all and you still love social media; if that’s the case, this episode also applies to other types of marketing. So, maybe you are sick of offline marketing, maybe you are sick of networking, maybe you sick of sending out newsletters (that’s kind of online). So, whatever it is, if you are sick of a sales channel, or marketing channel, that you have been using or you have been told that must use to market your business, I think you will find today’s episode to be very useful.

This episode was inspired by a couple of things, back in May of 2015, I wrote a blog post called: Do you feel Allergic to Social Media? This Might be Why… It resonated with a lot of people, and I have had people write emails to me, that I don’t know that I have found their blog posts somehow, and have then emailed me and said: thank you so much for writing this, I hate social media, I never used to hate it but I am hating it lately and I feel like I am being anti-social, and I don’t know what to do, so that was really useful. So, in this blog post, which I will link to in the show notes, I talked about how, for the previous six months, I had been feeling allergic to online marketing and social media. Not allergic to it, but I just didn’t feel like using any more, it became a chore, rather than something that I really enjoy. And, that was really confusing to me because my business, one of the previous incarnations of my business, was helping business owners and authors with social media marketing. And, so, at first I thought, this was about the time when I was letting go of that social media marketing business, and shifting into the business mindset stuff, and I thought that maybe that was my brain’s way of helping me to make that transition. But, then it just kept going. And it went on for months, and we are talking half a year. And it wasn’t until this one day, I was out in nature, I was doing this long walk along the North Downs Way between Guildford and Dorking which I don’t know that’s at least 13 or 14 miles, so it takes several hours. And it was one of those walks when I was alone, and I was out in nature, and I was just kind of going inward as I do on my solo walks. And that was where I realised that I had been in on this inward path for quite some time and I was on this inner journey and things were shifting and I was doing a lot of self-exploration, and work with myself, but I was doing really deep, inward, stuff. And so, the social media marketing, being outward stuff, it just didn’t feel right, because I was just digging so deeply inward. And eventually I kind of grew out of that phase and moved on and again felt comfortable and enjoyed using social media to market my business. I have always preferred online marketing to offline marketing, but recently I have been experiencing that aversion to social media. And, this is coupled with a couple of things, it is coupled with the fact for the entire last year I have been complaining about the online business world, and how much I dislike it and how I dislike traditional marketing, and how I am really becoming disgusted with a lot of the crap that we see online in the business coaching field and just getting really dissatisfied with that. And it has gotten to the point where I was talking with a friend a few weeks ago, and she said: how’re you doing? And I said: I’m doing okay, I am just really sick of the business world, I am really sick of this online business stuff, really sick of the online marketing stuff. And she said: Holly, you have been complaining about that all year long. And I realised that: yes, I had. Dating back to middle of last year when I started doing those videos on Instinctive Whole Brain Marketing with Cara Wilde and Joanna Hennon, and Cathy Ballard, we did a couple of videos, which I will also link to in the show notes. One was a video where we were just talking about how we viewed marketing in a different way and then we did an online call with other people where we invited other people to talk about how we felt about marketing and how we wanted to change marketing; I think those were really interesting and useful conversations. But I think that my dissatisfaction with online marketing in the business world ran even deeper than that, to the point where I feel like my business is shifting into something new and I don’t know yet what that looks like. I am still getting intuitive nudges on that, but it is moving kind of away from the business stuff, perhaps, and more into bringing outdoors stuff into the way that I work with people. So, again, more on this once I have figured it out, I know I have been hinting at this for a while, but I still don’t have a lot of information. I love my one-to-one clients, I love working with people using heart centred energy work, and working on the mindset stuff, but I think we are going to start working on kind of a broader perspective of things and not perhaps business specifically. Again, I still have no clue, I will let you know when I know. But I think all of this feeds into why I’m feeling sick of social media, I’m dissatisfied with the online business world, I am dissatisfied with the online coaching world, and I am dissatisfied with the online marketing world. Like, all of that stuff is just not nourishing, it is not feeding my soul, I am just not enjoying it.

So, that’s what inspired this episode. And what I would like to do is ask you some questions, things that you can either pause the recording, pause this podcast as you are listening to it, and journal the answers. Or I will include them in the show notes and you can copy and paste them and print them out and journal on them on your own; or just meditate on them, think about them, whatever. But I think that there are some interesting and useful questions that you can use to get clarity on this issue, whether you are sick of social media, whether you are sick of networking, whether you are sick of speaking, like public speaking, whatever it is that you are sick of, that’s a sales or marketing channel regarding your business. So, these questions, I wrote them all down and I am going to try to put them in a coherent order as I read them out to you and discuss them with you:

  • So first of all, what is it that you want to get out of using social media to market your business? What are you hoping to get? Are you hoping to get new clients? Are you hoping to build a big community? Are you hoping to promote your client work, your books, your products, whatever it is that you do? What are you hoping to get out of using social media? And this is really important, I think this is something that a lot of people don’t think about, they just think: oh well social media is a thing, I have to use it to market my business, so I guess I will do some stuff on social media. But a lot of people don’t stop and think why, what do they want to get out of it, why are they doing it? So that’s your first question, what are you doing? Why are doing social media, what do you want to get out of it?

 

And, along with that question is: are you getting it? Are you getting results? Is it working? Or is it just you putting a bunch of stuff out there and then it kind of disappears into the ether and it feels like a waste of time? So these are questions for you to answer.

 

  • Next, how do you actually feel about social media? So, we have titled this episode: what to do when you are sick of social media, but when you are sick of it, what does mean? Do you feel frustrated by it? Do you feel exhausted because you are trying to do too much? Do you just feel a natural aversion to it, because it is not how you like to engage with people? How do you actually feel about using social media to market your business, and to get clients, or to sell your books, or build a community or whatever? How do you actually feel about social media? Does it feel heavy when you look at your calendar and you see that you have blocked out an hour to work on social media? Or do you feel a sense of dread at opening up your Facebook feed and reading through posts? How do you actually feel? Put some words to that. I might take that one step further and say: Where do you feel that sensation in your body? Does it feel like a pit of dread in your stomach? And, can you give it maybe a colour, is it like a dark murky grey, is it like a black whole, is it textured, does it have a temperature? Really tap into that feeling and kind of get to know it, even if it is a crappy feeling. I think that can be really helpful sometimes, and if it is not helpful then don’t do it. I find it can be helpful to identify those different feelings by adding those different qualities to it, because it helps me to really get clarity on it. So, how do you actually feel?

 

  • And next question is: what’s actually going on? What is happening that you are sick of social media? Are you trying to do too much? Are you trying to post like 30 times a day on all the platforms? Are you trying to be everywhere? Did someone tell you that you have to be on every single social network and so that’s what you are doing? What’s actually going on? Are you just feeling overwhelmed? Are you tired? What’s actually going on when you think about using social media?

 

  • Also, ask yourself: is it that you hate posting on social media? Do you hate uploading stuff like photographs to Instagram, do you hate sharing stuff on your Facebook page or in your Facebook group? Do you hate tweeting stuff? Do you hate putting out videos? Is it that you hate putting your stuff out there, or do you dislike reading other people’s stuff? Because those are two very different things, and maybe it is both. Maybe you just can’t stand any part of it, you don’t want to read other people’s stuff, you don’t want to put your stuff out there? But get clear on what is it? Is it either, or, or both? Do you dislike posting yourself, do you dislike reading other people’s posts, or do you just hate it all. That’s really, really, important to get clear on. And if the problem is that you dislike reading other people’s posts is it because you have been playing the comparison game and losing?

 

  • Now, two episodes ago, you might have missed it, episode 239, was about how to quit playing the comparison game for good, so if you haven’t listened to that, I highly recommend it. A lot of times when we are not feeling good about ourselves, or we are not feeling good about where our business is going, we start to feel about the stuff we see on social media, because we see everyone else, posting their amazing lifestyle, all the money they are making, all the new clients they have, all the client testimonials. And their business is fantastic, their business is thriving, their lifestyle oh it is so amazing, it is everything you want, and you don’t have. And so, you use that stuff to feel bad about yourself, the crappy part of your brain, the limiting part of your brain, the smallness part of your brain, uses that stuff to make you feel bad about yourself. And that’s the comparison game, it is just a downward spiral into a black pit of crappy crap that you just can’t win that game. So, if you are still playing that game, then listen to episode 239. So, identify that, are you playing the comparison game? Is it that you hate social because you are looking at other people’s stuff and their stuff is making you feel bad, and is it everyone? Or is it specific people? Maybe there are certain people in your life that you have always compared yourself to, and so their posts in particular are making you feel bad about yourself. So, identify that, really dig deep into that and get clear on that.

 

  • Are you suffering from burnout? Are you just exhausted? Are you trying to do too much in your business? So earlier in the questions I asked: are you trying to do too much? Are you trying to be everywhere? But this is a bit deeper, sometimes we reach a place of burnout in our business and it is just hard to realise sometimes, because we are just so used to just hustle, hustle, hustle, got to get through the list, got to tick stuff off my list, got to do the stuff; and we are so busy on that hamster wheel doing stuff, doing stuff, doing stuff, and we often don’t start to realise: Oh my God just exhausted! And I got to that point, towards the end of last year, 2017, when I didn’t want to do videos, I didn’t want to do blog posts, I didn’t want to work on my books, I didn’t want to do anything. And I had this session with my coach, Lisa Weichtenheiser, and she said: well, you love creating stuff, wouldn’t you like to do something that’s fun and create something new. And I said: I just don’t want to do any of that, I just…my creative pot was depleted of creativity stuff. I just didn’t want to do anything and luckily this was right before I was going to the States for three and a half weeks, and then after I got back things were kind of winding down to the end of the year, so it was the perfect time if ever to (if ever there is one for burn out) but it was the perfect time to do it, because business and life was kind of winding down into more of a hibernation mode towards the holiday season. But it was awful, it felt so awful not wanting to do creative stuff, because creative stuff really gives me energy, and it jazzes up my life, and I love writing, and I love doing the podcast, I love doing stuff like this. But I just didn’t want to do it, I didn’t want to do any of it. So, stop and think, open your mind to the possibility: Are you experiencing some kind of burnout? And burnout doesn’t have to be anxiety, like you are in bed with colds and flus and sickness all the time because your body has just broken down, there are far more subtle types of burnout, might you be experiencing that? Because oftentimes when we are feeling just exhausted, and overwhelmed, and burnt out, we don’t want to create stuff, we don’t want to put ourselves out in the world because it is energy to put ourselves out there. And towards the end of last year, I did an episode on fear of overwhelm and burnout, that was episode 226. So that is something worth looking at if you think you might be experiencing burnout or overwhelm.

 

Also, on the topic of burnout, a good friend of mine Natalia Real, who was also a guest on the show and I will link to that episode in the show notes, it was actually episode 99, but recently she did a blog post, a massive…one of those great juicy blog posts called: Entrepreneurial Burnout: Let’s get vulnerable. And she includes signs of burnout, which I think is really useful, she talks about other people who are experiencing burnout, both her own stories, how to prevent burnout and then she includes other people’s stories about burnout, including some of my links, and other posts by other entrepreneurs talking about entrepreneurial burnout. So, that’s really useful if you have been experiencing it.

 

  • Next question to ask yourself: are you more of an offline marketer or networker? Not everyone enjoys online marketing and networking. Maybe you like to do offline stuff? Maybe you like to do networking groups in your local area? Some people love that, I do not. I used to dread going to networking meetings, but I thought that’s what you had to do wen you had a business, because this is what you do. And then finally I got to the point where I quit, because I realised that I hated it, and I really enjoyed online networking. But maybe you are the opposite, maybe you can’t stand the online networking, because you love being in a room with other people, as maybe that’s what works for you. So, if you are feeling drawn to speaking engagements and going to networking groups, going to Meetups, and talking about your business there, then maybe that’s what you ought to be doing. So, stop and think what really energises you. I get so drained by networking stuff, so I don’t do it. But maybe you get drained by the social media? So, stop and ask yourself: are you more of an online marketer or networker, or offline? Because both ways are totally valid ways of marketing your business. Pick what feels right for you; and maybe both are right for you, so you do a kind of hybrid model. That’s totally fine, a lot of people do that. But if you don’t like the social media, because you like being in a room with people, then do that. It’s totally fine, give yourself permission to do that. But you have got to understand what’s right for you.

 

  • Next question: is it simply the wrong time of the month? And I am not joking when I say that. If you have been listening to this podcast for any length of time you might be familiar with Lisa Lister, I always recommend her books; and she has been a guest on this show twice so far: episodes 91, where we talked about cycles; and 176, when we talked about her books. So, Lisa wrote this fantastic book called: Code Red, Know your flow, unlock your monthly superpowers and create a bloody amazing life, period. I love this book, because it really changed my life, it asks about how you have different superpowers, during different times of the month. I’m speaking to you as if you are a woman because most of my listeners are, if you are a man I’m sure you have cycles too, but I know nothing about them. But women often, the first week of their cycle have a tendency to go within; second week is kind of like super power, get stuff done hyper-focussed; week three is really good for reaching out and connecting and doing interviews, and networking, and that kind of thing; and week four is a kind of going within week. So, depending on how long you have been feeling an aversion to social media, if it has only been a couple of weeks, maybe it is just that time of the month where you are naturally going inward. See, check your calendar, and see where you are in your cycle, and see if perhaps that’s what is going on. If it is not, then at least you know. I am going to link to Lisa’s book in the show notes, I highly recommend this book, it has just been really life-changing for me, so take a look at your cycle, where are you in your cycle.
  • Next, this is kind of related to the previous one, maybe it is just a natural time that you are going within, not because it is that time of the month but because your business and or life are in transition. So, ask yourself: Is your business in transition? Is your life in transition? Are you simply on a deep inner journey as you are trying to find your way forward? Are you at a crossroads on your path? So, what I talked about at the beginning, about where I am in my business, things are evolving, I don’t exactly know what it is evolving into, but I have been spending a lot of time doing a lot of inner work, doing a lot of mindset stuff, doing a lot of healing doing a lot of clearing stuff, so that I can more quickly and easily see my path forward. It involves going really going deep into myself and again when I am doing deep, deep, deep inner work I don’t always feel like putting myself out there, because it is a very, very, different energy. So, it is hard for me to go really deeply within and then kind of go out. So, ask yourself: Are you just at a place in your life where you have got to go inward because you are trying to see how you are going to pivot in your business, or life, or maybe you have got a big decision coming up? Maybe that’s just naturally what you need to be doing now? So, that’s another thing that you need to think about and ask yourself: Is this a time when you just need to go within and just let go of the social media stuff for a while, while you get clarity?

So, I hope those questions help you get clear on a situation and the reasons as to why you might be sick of social media. I am going to give you one more question:

  • Might it be mindset stuff? So, do you have any fears, or blocks, or limiting beliefs, or mind crap, around visibility? Around your ability to market yourself? Around what you do? Do you have problems with self-confidence, self-esteem, stuff that maybe you haven’t addressed before in your mindset work; or maybe you have just grown and you are at a point where you have new fears and blocks and limiting beliefs, around your mindset, and your ability to run your business, or serve your customer and clients or market your business. So, take a look at your mindset, and see if there is anything there that needs to be cleared, because sometimes everything else is fine, social media is right for you, but you are just not feeling very confident and if you were feeling more confident then social media would be easier for you. I know it is not a quick fix quite like that, but that is one of the big things that I think holds a lot of people back in marketing their business. So, take a look at your mindset and see if anything needs to be shifted there.

So, you have got your clarity on why you are sick of social media, what should you do instead? What do you do about this? So, here are some ideas: First of all, journal for clarity, so if you haven’t done that, do it, because you need the clarity. You need to understand the situation. Next, scale it down, take it easy, dial it back. If you have decided that you do want to use social media to market your business, then pick the one social network that you most enjoy – or least hate – and just focus on that and forget about the other ones. And focus on networking there, focus on connecting with people there, focus on putting your content out there, focus on being social there. And maybe look at it from a different perspective, so perhaps stop focussing on just pushing your content out there or sharing links to your stuff and promoting your stuff, but rather focus on networking and getting to know people and really enjoying that one social network from a social perspective. Think about it like you would offline networking, like going to a networking group, and really get to know the people that you are connecting with on that social network. So, dig deeper, make it more social. As a result of the questions I asked you before, if you have decided that social media not for you then figure out what you are going to do instead: are you going to get speaking engagements? Are you going to go to networking meetings, meetup groups? Create a plan of things you would rather do instead of social media that would still help you get out there, still help you connect with people, still help you market your business, but in ways that are nourishing and fun for you.

Next, if you are feeling overwhelmed, or burnt out or just ugh with the whole thing, turn off your notifications. So, turn off notifications on your phone for social media, on your desktop – like, get rid of the pop-up crap that interrupts you throughout your day. When I am working my computer is on ‘do not disturb’ mode for the duration of my working ours, my phone is also on ‘do not disturb’. So, calls don’t come in, notifications don’t come in, unless I pick up my phone, and look at it, I am not seeing notifications because it is on ‘do not disturb’. If you are feeling overwhelmed, this can be a really good way of getting rid of those disturbances that come with social media or go straight into all of those social networks that you use and disable notifications. Mine are all disabled. So, Facebook, Instagram, all of it, it is all disabled, so I don’t get the notifications even if I am not in ‘do not disturb’ mode. I really go into hyper focus mode with whatever I am working on, so I don’t want the notifications I can’t handle it, so turn off the notifications if they have been bothering you.

Next idea is to get some help with social media; so I am not necessarily saying hire a social media manager to do it for you, because I really feel like social media needs to be social and unless you are a big corporation, I think it is important to put your energy into the stuff that you are doing on social media. So, hiring a social media manager is probably not what you want, but maybe hire a social media coach and tell them: Here is what I have been doing, here are the results that I have been getting, I hate social media, here’s why, what can I do? What are your suggestions? Hire an expert in social media to maybe give you some new ideas for your specific situation, that might help you have more fun with social media, or get recharged and excited about using social media. That can really help to get someone else’s perspective on your specific situation. And I am not talking about going out and reading a bunch of blog posts, like one-to-one, just do one call with them and tell them: I just want a new plan, I want some new ideas, I want to reignite my interest in using social media to market my business. That can be really, really, useful.

Finally, allow yourself to hibernate, allow yourself to do nothing, allow yourself to be quiet on social media, because maybe what you need is a rest. Maybe you just need to go silent for a while, lots of people do it, on many occasions, I have seen big online business people say: I am going to take a month off social media, I will be silent for the next month and some people have come back from it and said: Do you know what, I am going to stay silent for a while because I really enjoyed that. So, sometimes, you need to let the pendulum swing the other way and go from being really active to being really silent, and then wait for it to find a happy medium, or not… After a month off of social media, or x amount of time off social media, you might realise you do not want to do it again, you don’t want to go back and you want to just do speaking engagements. I don’t know, this is all about finding what is right for you. So, if you feel like you are sick of it, you don’t want to do any of this, allow yourself to hibernate, give yourself permission to quit social media. Make it a formal thing and announce it or just silently fade off into the sunset. But, give yourself the permission to do this because if you don’t you won’t be allowing yourself the space you need to recover and get a new perspective on it, and the world is not going to end if you quit social media, or longer, your business is probably not going to fall apart, but it will give you the time and space to understand, and think, and get a new perspective on your business and how you market your business, and ow you want to move forward with your business.

So, I hope you find that interesting and useful, and I hope you take the time to really explore those questions and see what is going on for you behind that veil of ‘I’m sick of social media’, what are the reasons behind it, why? These are important questions to ask, so that you can clearly understand the situation. So, please drop me a line, and let me know what you thought about this week’s episode, you can email me: [email protected] or you can find me on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, and get in touch. However, I am going to be honest and say I haven’t been looking at my Twitter that much lately, so if you have got in touch via Twitter, I probably haven’t seen it, so I think I am going to check out Twitter once I get off the microphone here. But, I would love to hear from you and hear what your thoughts are, and if you would like me to give you a shout on the show and read your comments I would really like that; or, your can join me in my private Facebook group: Business Mindset Alchemists, and we can continue this conversation there. I would love to get to know you, a little more about you and hear what’s going on with your business mindset. If you go over to https://www.hollyworton.com/group you will be redirected to the Facebook group.

And thank you so much for listening, if you have enjoyed this episode I would love for you to please leave me a quick review on iTunes, it would mean the world to me.

And, remember to visit: https://www.hollyworton.com/241 for the show notes on this episode.

Next week’s episode is another co-hosted show with the fabulous Jo Casey. We will be exploring the Myers Briggs type indicator, which you know that we are huge fans of, Jo even more so than I am. It is a really in-depth, extended episode, that was so much fun to record and I can’t wait for you to listen to it, it is kind of workshop-y kind of episode. So, I am really looking forward to releasing that, that’s next week, 242. So, remember to tune in for that episode. Thank you again for listening and have a fabulous day.

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